My Mindset Is Different: Why I Focus On Solutions Instead Of Problems
- Jul 26
- 5 min read
Discover how developing a growth mindset helped me overcome self-doubt, focus on solutions and build resilience. Learn practical ways to develop your own mindset.
My Mindset Is Different… And That's Okay
I find myself either saying or thinking this a lot lately...
"My mindset is different."
I say it to myself during challenging conversations. I say it when I'm faced with conflict. I say it when self-doubt tries to creep in.
Sometimes I even say it after hearing somebody else's opinion that could easily knock my confidence if I allowed it to.
For a long time, I wondered whether that sounded arrogant.
It isn't.
I'm not saying my mindset is better than anyone else's. I'm saying that I've deliberately worked hard to build a mindset that helps me move forwards rather than keeping me stuck.
And the good news? I wasn't born with it.
I Didn't Always Think This Way
If you'd met me many years ago, you probably wouldn't have described me as someone with a strong growth mindset.
Like many people, I often accepted limitations as facts.
I believed what other people believed and I allowed opinions to carry more weight than they deserved.
At some point, something changed. I stopped waiting for other people to decide what I was capable of and started making those decisions for myself.
I realised that if I wanted to achieve something, I couldn't keep asking for permission or allowing someone else's thinking to become my ceiling.
That shift changed everything.
Work Taught Me More Than Qualifications Ever Could
One of the biggest influences on my mindset came early in my career.
Before working in schools, I spent time working in the Prison Service. It was an experience that stayed with me.
I met people whose lives had been shaped by trauma, difficult experiences, poor decisions and circumstances that many of us can barely imagine.
It reinforced something I've carried with me ever since.
I wanted to help people before they reached that point.
Not because change becomes impossible later in life, but because it often becomes harder. Habits become more deeply rooted. Beliefs become more fixed. Confidence can disappear.
When I later moved into education, I found myself naturally drawn towards pastoral work.
I started as a teaching assistant, but I never allowed my job title to define what I could contribute.
I wasn't trying to prove anyone wrong, nor was I trying to impress anyone.
I simply wanted to grow, support more young people and make a greater difference.
Looking back, I realise that decision wasn't really about my career.
It was about my mindset.
I Don't Ignore Problems
People sometimes assume that being positive means pretending everything is fine.
That's never been my approach.
I absolutely believe in understanding the problem.
You need to explore it and you need to understand what's happened. Then you need to acknowledge the emotions involved.
But I have no intention of spending unnecessary time and energy living there.
Once I understand the challenge, my attention shifts.
My next question is always: "What's the next step?"
Not next month. Not next year.
The next step.
Because progress almost always begins with movement.
I've seen people become completely consumed by conflict, frustration or negativity.
I've worked with young people, parents and professionals who felt trapped by the size of the challenge they were facing.
The turning point rarely comes when the problem disappears. It comes when they begin looking for what they can influence instead.
Attention Is One Of Your Greatest Assets
One of the biggest differences in my thinking is where I choose to place my attention.
I can spend hours focusing on everything that's going wrong. Or I can spend that same energy looking for strengths, opportunities and practical solutions.
That doesn't mean barriers don't exist. They do.
I've spent enough years supporting people through incredibly difficult circumstances to know that.
But I don't believe barriers should have the final say. Every challenge contains a next step.
Sometimes it's a conversation.
Sometimes it's asking for help.
Sometimes it's learning a new skill.
Sometimes it's simply deciding not to quit today.
That's where I choose to invest my attention.
Self-Doubt Often Comes From Outside Voices
One lesson I've learned is that self-doubt isn't always created internally.
Very often, it's fuelled by the opinions we choose to listen to. That's why I'm careful about who I share my biggest ideas with.
Not because I want to avoid feedback but because constructive feedback is invaluable. But not everybody sees the world through the same lens.
Some people naturally focus on risk. Others focus on possibility.
Some people will encourage your growth. Others may unintentionally project their own fears onto your ambitions.
I've learned that not everyone needs a vote on my dreams.
When I do hear something that knocks my confidence, I remind myself:
My mindset is different.
Not because I'm right but because my attention is focused on building, learning and moving forwards.
Confidence Doesn't Come First
People often assume confidence creates action. My experience has been the opposite.
Action creates confidence.
Whenever I notice self-doubt creeping in, I don't wait until I feel motivated again.
I ask myself one simple question: "What's the next step?"
Then I do it... even if it's small. Completing one meaningful action creates momentum. Momentum creates belief. Belief creates confidence. Confidence makes the next step easier.
I've repeated that cycle countless times throughout my career, while building my coaching business and even through solo travel across different countries. Travelling alone taught me something I didn't fully appreciate at the time.
Every unfamiliar place, unexpected challenge and new conversation quietly reinforced one belief: I'll figure it out.
That's resilience, and resilience grows through experience.
You Don't Need My Mindset
If you've read this far and found yourself thinking,
"I don't have Ross's mindset."
Good.
Because you don't need mine.
You need to build your own.
Ask yourself:
Do I approach challenges with a fixed mindset or a growth mindset?
Do I spend more time analysing problems than creating solutions?
Am I allowing someone else's opinion to define what I'm capable of?
What's one practical step I could take today?
You don't have to become a different person overnight. You simply have to become intentional about how you think.
Your mindset isn't something you're given. It's something you build.
One thought... One decision... One step... at a time.
Ready To Build A Mindset That Moves You Forward?
Whether you're facing self-doubt, navigating a major life change, feeling stuck in old patterns or looking to develop greater resilience and confidence, you don't have to figure it out alone.
My coaching focuses on practical, solution-focused strategies that help you move forwards with clarity, confidence and purpose.
If you're ready to take your next step, I'd love to help you discover what's possible.
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