What A Rain-Soaked Day Taught Me About What Young People Really Value
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
A rainy day at Thorpe Lakes taught me an important lesson about young people, relationships, connection and how we often measure success differently.
When The Plan Didn't Go To Plan
Recently, I took a group of young people from our Pupil Referral Unit to Thorpe Lakes.
The plan was simple. Get outdoors, enjoy the activity, spend some time together and create a positive experience away from the usual school environment.
Unfortunately, the weather had other ideas.
It was cold, windy and the rain was relentless. Conditions became so challenging that we ended up getting out of the lake halfway through because nobody could warm up. It certainly wasn't the day any of us had imagined.
The staff persevered. I bought everyone a hot chocolate. We adapted, made the best of the situation and headed home.
The Conversation That Surprised Me
On the drive back, I found myself apologising to the young people.
I told them I was sorry the weather had been so poor and that it probably wasn't the day they had expected or hoped for.
What happened next genuinely surprised me.
They told me I didn't need to apologise. They said they had enjoyed the day.
Not because of the weather. Not because of the activity. But because of the conversations, the journey, the opportunity to spend time together, having a laugh, trying something different and simply sharing the experience.
I was taken aback.
Like many adults, I had judged the success of the day by whether the plan had worked.
In my mind, the weather had negatively affected the experience. I had focused on what hadn't gone well.
The young people saw something completely different.
They weren't measuring the day against a perfect plan. They weren't evaluating whether every activity had gone ahead exactly as intended.
They were reflecting on how the experience had made them feel.
What The Young People Were Really Valuing
As I thought about it more, I realised they were talking about something much bigger than the activity itself.
They were talking about connection.
They valued being included. They valued spending time together. They valued being treated as people rather than simply students. They valued the relationships that had been built over time and strengthened through a shared experience.
It also made me feel proud.
Proud of the relationships my colleagues and I have developed with these young people. Proud that despite the weather, they felt the day had been worthwhile because of the people they spent it with.
Why We Sometimes Measure Success Differently
The reality is that this lesson extends far beyond a rainy day at Thorpe Lakes.
As parents, professionals, leaders and coaches, we often place enormous pressure on ourselves. We focus on outcomes and plans. We focus on whether everything went exactly as intended.
When things don't go to plan, we can be quick to view the experience as a disappointment. Yet the people we support may be valuing something entirely different.
They may remember the time you gave them.
The effort you made.
The fact you showed up.
The conversations you had.
The way you made them feel.
Connection Often Matters More Than Perfection
Perhaps we sometimes underestimate the importance of connection because it is harder to measure than outcomes.
But connection is often the thing that gives an experience its value.
This wasn't the first time a plan hadn't gone perfectly and it certainly won't be the last. In truth, very few plans ever unfold exactly as expected.
What this experience reminded me is that success is not always found in perfect conditions or perfect outcomes.
Sometimes success is found in the relationships we build, the memories we create and the moments we share together.
Sometimes the things we think went wrong aren't the things people remember at all.
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