Why I Believe Mentoring Should Create Change Beyond The Session

Discover why strategic mentoring is about more than support alone and how purposeful relationships help young people create lasting change.

Last week, I delivered Strategic Mentoring Training to our Outreach Mentors and Taskforce Team within my school setting. The training is an adapted version of the Strategic Mentoring Training I deliver, designed specifically for the needs of young people within a PRU environment.

It got me reflecting on a question I've been asked many times over the years: What actually makes mentoring strategic? 

For me, it's not about complicated frameworks or ticking boxes. It's about ensuring that every interaction has value and that the positive impact of mentoring continues long after the session ends.

Mentoring Is More Than Spending Time Together

There is absolutely a place for fun, games, a coffee, a walk or simply spending time together. Relationships matter.

In fact, I believe they are the foundation of everything. Young people need adults who show up consistently, listen without judgement and create a safe space where they can be themselves.

But mentoring shouldn't stop there.

A strategic mentor is constantly thinking: How will today's interaction help this young person move forward? 

That might involve building self-esteem, exploring identity, setting goals, identifying barriers or simply helping a young person see themselves and their future differently.

The activity itself isn't the intervention. The conversations, reflections and opportunities for growth woven into that activity are where the real value lies.

Strategic Mentoring Isn't Always Goal-Focused

People sometimes assume strategic mentoring means every session has to be highly structured or outcome driven. I don't agree.

In my training, I talk about two types of mentoring sessions: Targeted Mentoring and Supportive Mentoring.

Targeted Mentoring is purposeful and focused on helping a young person work towards specific goals. This might involve improving confidence, developing emotional regulation, building aspirations or overcoming barriers.

Supportive Mentoring is different. Sometimes a young person is in crisis, dysregulated or overwhelmed. They don't need another person trying to solve their problems. They need someone who listens, helps them feel safe and supports them to regulate their emotions.

Both approaches are valuable. In fact, knowing when to use each one is part of what makes mentoring strategic.

Progress Doesn't Always Fit Into Six Weeks

One of the things I've questioned throughout my career is the idea that mentoring can always be neatly packaged into a six-week programme.

Young people don't experience challenges in six-week blocks. Confidence affects motivation. Motivation affects attendance. Attendance affects aspirations. Relationships influence behaviour. Everything is connected.

That's not to say short interventions have no value. They absolutely can. Six weeks may be enough to start change, but rarely enough to embed it.

Strategic mentoring recognises that meaningful progress often takes time. It understands that change isn't linear and that sometimes the most important breakthroughs happen after weeks or months of building trust, reflecting and trying again.

The Real Goal Is Independence

For me, the best mentoring sessions don't end when the hour finishes.

The young person leaves with something.

Perhaps they keep thinking about a question that challenged their perspective. Maybe they try a new strategy, reflect on a difficult conversation or begin to notice their own strengths.

Over time, they become less dependent on the mentor and more confident in their own ability to move forward.

That's the goal.

Strategic mentoring isn't about creating reliance. It's about helping young people develop the confidence, self-awareness and resilience to continue growing with or without you.

Mentors Are Never Working Alone

Another misconception I often challenge is the idea that mentoring is simply the mentor and the mentee.

In reality, young people exist within families, schools, friendship groups and wider communities. Parents, carers, teachers and other professionals all have a role to play.

Strategic mentors think beyond their own sessions. They consider who else can reinforce positive messages, support goals and celebrate progress. They understand that lasting change is often the result of many people working together with a shared purpose.

Something To Think About

If I could leave every mentor with one belief, it would be this:

Relationships matter enormously, but relationships alone are not enough.

A strategic mentor shows up consistently, builds trust and creates safety. They listen when a young person needs support and challenge them when they need to grow. They celebrate progress, however small, and help young people develop the tools to continue moving forward independently.

Because ultimately, mentoring isn't about filling an hour.

It's about creating moments that change how a young person sees themselves, their challenges and their future.

And those moments can last far beyond the session itself.

If you're a professional working with young people and would like to strengthen your mentoring skills, my Strategic Mentoring Training explores practical strategies for building relationships, setting boundaries, creating purposeful interventions and empowering young people to make lasting progress.

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