How To Find Your Happiness (Without Pretending Everything’s Fine)
- Ross Thompson
- Dec 29, 2025
- 6 min read
Learn how to find your happiness, even when life feels heavy. Practical steps, mindset shifts and coaching support to help you feel happy again.
How To Find Your Happiness When You Feel Stuck, Tired or Flat
There’s a moment many people quietly experience but rarely talk about.
Life looks fine on the surface. You’re functioning. You’re showing up. You’re getting through the days. Yet underneath it all, something feels… off.
You don’t feel truly happy.
You don’t feel fulfilled.
And you might be wondering whether happiness is something you’ve lost, missed or simply aren’t supposed to feel.
If you’ve ever searched how to find your happiness, you’re not broken... you’re human! And more importantly, happiness isn’t something you “earn” once everything is sorted. It’s something you rebuild, intentionally, from the inside out.
This post will guide you through:
What actually blocks happiness (and why willpower isn’t enough).
How to be happy always without toxic positivity.
How to be happy when you are sad (without ignoring your emotions).
Practical exercises to help you feel happier day to day.
How the online group coaching session Your Starting Point helps people reconnect with themselves and move forward with clarity, in just a one hour session.
Why Happiness Feels So Hard To Hold Onto
Many people believe happiness is about circumstances.
“I’ll be happy when work settles down.” “I’ll be happy when I feel more confident.” “I’ll be happy when life finally gives me a break.”
But happiness doesn’t disappear because life gets hard. It fades because we lose connection with ourselves.
In my work with adults who feel stuck, flat or frustrated, I often hear:
“I don’t know what I want anymore”.
“I feel like I’m just surviving”.
“I should be happy… but I’m not”.
This disconnect is usually caused by:
Constant pressure to be productive.
Living on autopilot for years.
Ignoring emotional needs to “keep going”.
Measuring success by external standards.
Carrying unresolved stress, guilt or disappointment.
When happiness feels out of reach, it’s not because you’re failing, but rather because something inside you needs attention.
What’s Blocking Your Happiness? (The Real Reasons)
Before learning how to get happy, you need to understand what’s standing in the way.
1. You’ve Normalised Feeling “Meh”
When stress becomes routine, it stops registering as stress.
You may not feel overwhelmed, perhaps just tired, unmotivated or emotionally numb. This is one of the biggest happiness blockers because nothing feels urgent enough to change.
2. You’ve Lost Direction
Happiness thrives on meaning.
When you’re unclear on what matters to you now - not five years ago - it’s easy to feel disconnected and restless.
3. You’re Carrying Emotional Weight You’ve Never Processed
Unspoken disappointment, self-doubt, resentment or grief doesn’t vanish.
It sits quietly in the background, draining energy and joy.
4. You’re Trying to “Fix” Yourself Instead Of Understanding Yourself
Many people approach happiness like a self-improvement project.
But happiness isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about reconnecting with who you already are.
How To Be Happy Always (Without Forcing Positivity)
Let’s be clear.
Being happy always does not mean:
Smiling through pain.
Ignoring sadness.
Pretending everything’s fine.
True happiness is emotional flexibility, not constant positivity.
People who experience lasting happiness:
Feel sadness without getting stuck in it.
Respond instead of reacting.
Know how to reset emotionally.
Understand what they need and act on it.
Happiness becomes sustainable when you stop fighting emotions and start working with them.
How To Be Happy When You Are Sad (And Why This Matters)
Sadness isn’t the opposite of happiness. Avoidance is.
When sadness shows up, many people try to:
Distract themselves.
Stay busy.
Push through.
Minimise how they feel.
Ironically, this keeps them stuck.
Try this instead:
Name the emotion without judging it.
Ask yourself: What is this feeling asking for? What does it need?
Slow down your response.
Choose a supportive action, not a numbing one.
This is how you learn how to feel happy when sad. Not by removing sadness, but by moving through it safely.
Practical Exercises To Increase Happiness (Daily, Realistic, Effective)
Exercise 1: The Emotional Check-In (2 minutes)
Once a day, ask yourself:
What am I feeling right now?
What do I need more of?
What do I need less of?
This builds emotional awareness, which is the foundation of happiness.
Exercise 2: Reclaim One Small Choice Daily
Happiness grows through agency.
Each day, consciously choose:
One thing that supports your wellbeing.
One thing that aligns with your values.
One thing that feels intentional.
Small choices rebuild self-trust.
Exercise 3: The “Energy Audit”
At the end of the week, think about:
What drained my energy?
What gave me energy?
What do I need to change next week?
This exercise alone helps many people realise why happiness has felt blocked.
Exercise 4: The Mood Reset Routine
When you feel low:
Change your environment (stand up, move rooms, go outside).
Regulate your breathing.
Do something grounding, not distracting.
This teaches your nervous system how to return to calm, which is a key part of how to make yourself feel good consistently.
Why Trying Alone Often Doesn’t Work
Most people know what to do.
The problem is doing it consistently when:
Motivation drops.
Old habits kick in.
Life gets busy.
Self-doubt creeps back.
This is why structured support matters.
Not to “fix” you, but to:
Create clarity.
Provide accountability.
Offer perspective.
Build momentum.
How Your Starting Point Helps You Find Your Happiness Again
Your Starting Point is an online group coaching session designed for adults who feel stuck, flat, lost or disconnected, but know they want more from life.
It runs multiple times throughout the year.
It’s about clarity, confidence and forward movement. It's purpose, in just one hour, is to get you to fully focus and reflect on core areas of your life, to identify areas of strength and to find out which areas need your immediate attention.
The session also enables you to identify any hidden barriers to your success and your happiness. Once identified, of course you can then take action.
After attending the session, some people go on to manage their results independently, whilst others benefit from booking some one-to-one coaching sessions with me directly.
Inside the session, you will:
Identify what areas of your life are blocking your happiness right now.
Understand where you are now and what your next steps should be.
Reconnect with your values.
Explore practical mindset tools.
Build a clear starting point for positive change.
This session is especially powerful if you’ve been asking:
How do I find my happiness again?
How do I get happy without pretending?
Why do I feel stuck even though life looks okay?
The Transformation People Experience
After attending Your Starting Point, people often say:
“I finally feel clear again”.
“I feel lighter and more in control”.
“I understand myself better”.
“I know what I need to do next”.
“I feel hopeful and not overwhelmed”.
That emotional shift, from stuck to steady, is where happiness starts to grow again.
Why Group Coaching Works So Well For Happiness
There’s something powerful about realising:
You’re not alone.
Others feel this too.
Change doesn’t have to be lonely.
Group coaching provides:
Shared insight.
Perspective.
Normalisation.
Momentum.
You don’t just learn. You move forward.
Your Happiness Isn’t Gone. It’s Waiting...
If you’ve been searching for how to find your happiness, take that as a sign.
A sign that:
You’re ready for change.
You’re listening to yourself.
You don’t want to stay stuck.
Happiness doesn’t arrive fully formed.
It starts with one honest pause.
One clear decision.
One intentional starting point.
Ready To Feel Like Yourself Again?
If this blog resonated with you, Your Starting Point is exactly that... a grounded, supportive place to begin.
👉 Book your place on the next Your Starting Point online group coaching session
You may also want to check out my other blog posts, relating to this:
Or find out more about what coaching for adults can do you for you.
You don’t need to have everything figured out.
You just need a starting point.
