How To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Build Real Confidence
- Ross Thompson
- 17 hours ago
- 4 min read
Learn how to get out of your comfort zone, build real confidence and take action with practical coaching-led strategies.
The Uncomfortable Truth Most People Avoid
There’s a moment most people recognise but rarely admit out loud. You’re busy, you’re functioning, you look like you've got things in hand... yet something feels stuck. Not broken. Not failing. Just stagnant. You're not moving anywhere. You're certainly not moving forward.
That point usually arrives when your comfort zone has quietly shrunk your world. You’re doing what feels safe. Predictable. Manageable. And while safety has its place, it’s also where confidence slowly starts to fade away.
If you’ve ever told yourself “I know I need to get out of my comfort zone – I just don’t know how to do it”, you’re not alone. In fact, that sentence is one of the most honest starting points for genuine change.
This blog post isn’t about forcing yourself to become someone you’re not. It’s about learning how to expand what you already have, confidence included, by taking realistic, supported steps forward.
What "Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone" Actually Means (And What It Doesn’t)
Let me clear something up straight away.
Getting out of your comfort zone isn’t about reckless leaps, fake confidence or pressuring yourself to "just do it" while your nervous system is screaming. Real growth and development doesn’t happen through self-bullying.
Being out of your comfort zone simply means:
You’re doing something unfamiliar.
You’re tolerating a manageable level of discomfort.
You’re learning rather than avoiding.
The goal isn’t fear. The goal is stretch.
Confidence doesn’t come before action. It’s built through it. That’s why most people wait too long, thinking confidence will arrive first. It rarely does.
Why Staying In Your Comfort Zone Quietly Costs You More
Staying comfortable feels sensible. But long-term comfort often comes with hidden consequences:
You second-guess yourself more.
You avoid decisions that matter.
You overthink simple steps.
You settle for situations you’ve outgrown.
I’ve worked with adults who looked confident on the outside - professionals, parents, leaders – yet privately they felt disconnected from who they used to be. That's not because they lacked the ability, but because they stopped challenging themselves.
The longer you remain in your comfort zone, the more unfamiliar growth feels.
When growth feels unfamiliar, fear fills the gap.
My Lived Experience: Confidence Built The Hard Way
In the earlier stages of my career, stepping into leadership, management and mentoring roles meant constantly being out of my comfort zone. Speaking up when it felt safer to stay quiet. Leading difficult conversations. Making decisions without guaranteed approval.
Having the discipline and the determination to throw out new ideas and spark new conversations.
I didn’t feel confident at the time.
What I had instead was responsibility and a willingness to move forward despite discomfort.
Over time, confidence followed action. Not the other way around. It's never the other way around.
That personal experience now shapes how I coach others. I don’t push people beyond their capacity. I help them expand it deliberately. With purpose.
The Mistake Most People Make When Trying To Step Outside My Comfort Zone
The biggest mistake?
Trying to go too big, too fast.
People decide they need to transform everything:
Career
Relationships
Identity
Confidence
All at once!
And perhaps, amongst other things, as well!
Then when it feels overwhelming, they retreat and tell themselves they’re "just not that kind of person" or "it's just not for me".
Confidence isn’t built through massive gestures.
It’s built through proof. Small decisions, repeated consistently, show your brain that you can cope.
How To Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone Without Burning Out
1. Shrink The Step, Not The Goal
You don’t need to overhaul your life. You need one uncomfortable action that moves you forward, which could be, for example:
Speaking up once.
Setting a boundary.
Applying for something you’d usually avoid.
Discomfort becomes manageable when it’s intentional.
2. Redefine Success
Success isn’t "feeling confident".
Success is:
Showing up.
Taking the step.
Staying present during discomfort.
Even if your voice shakes.
3. Reflect Instead Of Retreat
When something feels uncomfortable, your instinct might be to avoid it next time.
Instead, ask:
What did I handle better than expected?
What did this teach me about my capacity?
Reflection turns discomfort into progress.
Why Doing This Alone Is Harder Than It Needs To Be
Many people try to push themselves quietly. Alone. In their own head.
That’s exhausting.
Without perspective, discomfort feels dangerous rather than developmental. You lose sight of what’s normal and what’s avoidance.
This is where coaching changes everything.
How "Your Starting Point" Supports Real, Lasting Confidence
Your Starting Point is designed specifically for people who know they need to get out of their comfort zone – but want to do it properly, not forcefully.
This one-to-one online coaching session gives you:
Clarity on what’s actually holding you back.
A realistic plan to step outside your comfort zone.
Tools to manage discomfort instead of avoiding it.
Confidence grounded in action, not hype.
We focus on where you are now and not where you think you should be.
Who This Session Is For
This coaching session is particularly effective for:
Adults feeling stuck with no confidence.
Professionals avoiding progression despite their potential.
Parents rediscovering themselves beyond their day-to-day responsibilities.
Anyone tired of knowing what to change but not doing it.
Confidence isn’t about becoming louder or braver than everyone else.
It’s about trusting yourself to cope.
When Confidence Finally Starts To Feel Real
There’s a moment clients often describe after taking consistent steps out comfort zone thinking patterns.
They say:
“I still feel nervous... but it doesn’t stop me anymore.”
That’s real confidence.
Not fearlessness.
It's capability.
Your Next Step
If you’re reading this thinking “This is exactly where I am”, don’t ignore that awareness.
You don’t need to overhaul your life. You need a starting point.
Your Starting Point online coaching session is a focused, supportive space to help you get out of your comfort zone in a way that actually builds confidence and doesn't drain it.
📌 Book your session today and take the first step forward with clarity and support.
Confidence follows action. Let’s make sure yours is intentional.
